


DKLA (Don't Keep Love Around)

by dobrien



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'll tag as I go along I think, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Troye Sivan, M/M, Music Industry AU, Musican Isak Valtersen, Slow Build, Social Media, Social Media AU, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 18:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14219463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dobrien/pseuds/dobrien
Summary: Isak is an up and coming artist dating his highschool sweetheart, Chris. Even is a little jealous.Previously titled: Grey Areas and Expectations.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title come from: DKLA - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bunU3OwGTQ&list=WL&index=1

                                 

 

Even rolled his eyes after opening the Instagram notification from Isak; he had uploaded a picture of Chris kissing his hand. “I’ll bet my next pay check Chris made him post that.” He remarked.

Sana sighed. “Isak is an adult and he can choose for himself what he posts.”

“Yeah that’s my point! He lets Chris boss him around.”

“Chris is his boyfriend, not his manager. Bossing him around is Vilde’s job.” Sana reminded. “And some help with these posters would be nice.”

Even put his phone back in his pocket and pushed away from the counter. “I don’t understand what Isak sees in him.” He continued as he picked up the last box and followed Sana down the stairs and out to the van.

“No one does.” Sana replied wearily. They had, had this conversation too many times. “You had your chance to make a move so can you please not complain for one day?”

Even slammed the vans door closed more roughly than necessary and went around to the driver’s side. “That crush was nothing; I don’t feel the same anymore.”

Sana chose not to reply to that and buckled her seatbelt. “Come on,” Sana started, changing the subject, “We need all this unpacked _before_ doors open.”

He knew she was changing the subject, but he let it drop. Instead he asked, “Do you have the address?”

“Got it open on my phone,”

*******

“I thought you’d never make it!” Isak smiled after Even and Sana had pulled up behind the small venue. “Need help getting the boxes in?”

“The star himself wants to help the lowly crew?” Sana teased as Even opened the side door.

Isak gasped in fake hurt. “When have I ever been embarrassed about being seen with you?” Isak looked over her shoulder towards Even who was already hauling a box out of the van. “Even on the other hand… only sometimes, when he’s wearing those ugly shoes he likes.”

“Sonja bought me those shoes.” Even defended, walking past the group that had gathered outside. “There are enough boxes for one each, I think.”

“There are already some people waiting out front.” Jonas commented as he passed a box out of the van to Magnus.

“We saw on our way in.” Sana replied. “A couple familiar faces, actually.”

“Seriously?” Isak sounded genuinely surprised. “I didn’t realise people were buying tickets for more than one show.”

“Maybe if you read comments you would.” Eva teased on her way past him.

“Don’t you start; I already have Capital up my ass about social media.” Isak grumbled as he took a box.

“I think you’re mistaking them for your boyfriend.” Eva laughed as she and Isak went inside the venue. Isak pushed her box with his in retaliation for the comment, but he was laughing.

When all the other boxes had been taken in Sana locked the van and took the last box in with her, leaving it on the floor by the merchandise desk. 

Vilde smiled brightly and ticked something off on her clipboard. “Perfect. Everything’s here. Mahdi can’t do the last two days though, could you maybe ask Chris if he could cover?”

Sana nodded. “Is he around?”

“Green room I think.”

Sana found the room with Isak’s name taped to the door after a couple minutes of walking through winding hallways and when she pushed the already open door she saw Chris sitting on the floor in front of Isak.

“This isn’t my kind of photo.” Isak complained as he stood still.

“Doesn’t matter,” Chris replied as he stood from the floor, “you need to promote your shows or people won’t know they’re happening.”

“This one is sold out though.” Isak replied as he took back his phone.

Chris kissed Isak’s forehead. “You don’t understand social media.”

“I understand-”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Sana said with a tone that suggested she wasn’t at all sorry, “but I need to speak with Chris.”

“He’s all yours.” Isak gestured towards the man in question.

Chris nodded in Sana's direction. "What's up?"

“Vilde wanted to make sure you knew that Mahdi can’t do the last two days. Would you be able to fill in for him?”

Chris shrugged. “Sure.”

“Thank you. Have a good show Isak.”

Isak saluted her with a grin on her way out.

Even had left the venue to get coffee for himself and Vilde and by the time he had arrived back the boys were all in the green room, relaxing before the doors opened.

“Hey boys,” He grinned, returning the high five Magnus asked for, “all ready?”

Jonas already had his drumsticks in his hands, bouncing them off his thighs in anticipation. “Isak’s playing a new song tonight.” He informed. “We haven’t practiced it much.”

“Is that a good idea?” He asked Isak.

Isak rolled his eyes. “If you’re asking if Chris has heard it then the answer is no. He doesn’t run my life.”

“He might as well.” Jonas muttered under his breath, but they all heard it.

“Why are you dating him again?” Mahdi asked, but there was no malice in his tone. Most of them, with the exception of Even, had given up on trying to convince Isak that Chris wasn’t good company.

“Because-”

“Babe, doors open soon.” Chris said as he entered the room, firmly shutting down the groups conversation.

Isak nodded, “We’re ready.”

Magnus and Mahdi left to get behind the merchandise desk as Jonas and Isak hurried off towards the main room where the stage was. As Even’s job was guitar tech he made his way to the stage as well, to make sure that his set up was still where he had left it.

When it got to seven and Isak was on stage, everyone was in their places, Chris on one side off the stage watching, Even on the other with the guitars and spare plectrums.

“Hi everyone, I’m Isak.” Isak wasn’t a particularly shy person but he was soft spoken on stage. “I’m here to promote an album that hasn’t been released yet. I can see some familiar faces, which is nice.” He waved brightly to someone Even couldn’t see. “The first song I want to play for you is one about finding self-confidence and accepting yourself. It’s something I struggled with a lot when I was younger and I have a lot of people to thank for helping me get where I am now. It’s called _Heaven_.”

Even loved this one, it was one of his favourites; it was one of the more relatable songs for Even.

“ _This voice inside has been eating at me, trying to replace the love that I fake with what we both need_.”

A few songs in Isak took a break to talk and introduce the next song. “Okay, so I’ve been writing, obviously, and I recently finished a song that I’m very proud of. We haven’t rehearsed it much but you’ve never heard it so you won’t know if we mess up a little.” Jonas laughed from his place behind Isak and shook his head. “It’s called _Fools_.”

Even was nervous for Isak. He could see Chris on the other side of the stage looking angry and confused.

“ _I don’t give a fuck, I’m not giving up, I still want it all. Only fools fall for you, only fools._ ”

Part way through the song Isak looked over towards where Chris had been standing but his boyfriend had disappeared. Isak didn’t look too deterred; he carried on singing and finished the rest of the set in his usual manner.

*******

After the show Magnus and Mahdi returned backstage to the sound of arguing and the worried faces of their friends.

“What happened?” Magnus asked, immediately concerned.

“Chris isn’t happy that Isak played a song without running it by him first.” Noora informed them quietly. Even couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

Even took the initiative to open the green room door and he had to stop himself from running over to the pair on the other side when he saw what was happening.

“What the fuck was that?” Chris growled as he crowded Isak against the wall.

“It was a song.” Isak shrugged. He was faking calm. “For the album,”

“That shit isn’t going on the album, Isak. You can’t just play a song without running it by me- the label first.”

Isak frowned, “That’s not up to you, Chris.”

“Don’t you see how it makes me look to everyone?”

“You’re the one saying it’s about you.”

Isak regretted the words immediately, Chris’ frown deepened and he leaned back away from Isak, only to crowd Isak against the wall further a moment later. “Don’t speak to me like that.”

“Maybe when you treat me with respect,”

“I treat you-”

“What’s going on?” Jonas interrupted loudly.

Isak looked relieved that his best friend had spoken up. Even was only a little embarrassed and frustrated that it wasn’t him to interrupt.

“Just telling Isak what I thought of the song. Right baby,”

Isak avoided eye contact with the both of them, opting for the floor. “He doesn’t think it’s… appropriate.”

Chris rolled his eyes but stepped back, giving his boyfriend some space. “It’s about me, isn’t it? I should have got a say in if it was okay to play.”

“I never said it was about you!”

Chris raised an eyebrow sceptically. “Then who is it about? Even? You had a thing for him, right?”

Isak groaned and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes out of frustration. “No, it’s not about Even. It’s about _me_.”

Chris frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“We’re leaving for Elias’ party, you ready?” Jonas interrupted the couple again.

“He said we’re all welcome.” Sana spoke up from the back of the group crowded around the door.

“That’s sounds great.” Chris replied for them both.

“Who said you were invited, Chris?” Jonas replied.

“Sana just did. Everyone’s invited, no?” Chris shot back, taking Isak’s hand and pulling him past everyone who was standing in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs mentioned:  
> Heaven - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VNV__mV38s&index=4&t=0s&list=WL  
> Fools - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxg222-hWWc&list=WL&index=5
> 
> Capital is the record label Isak is signed to in this, they’re a real label but just pretend they’re Norwegian idk.
> 
> I used green room bc I wasn’t sure what else to call the room he’d get ready in? If green room is wrong let me know lol
> 
> And finally, I created the instgram edits, however here are the links to where the edits I used within the instgram edits came from (I had permission to use them):  
> http://tom-hemsworth.tumblr.com/  
> http://folerdetdufoler.tumblr.com/


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that escalated quickly.

At Elias’ apartment Chris parted with Isak and the rest of the group to get drinks.

“Why don’t you just break up with him already?” Jonas groaned.

“Why would I break up with him? I love him.”

Sana smiled sadly. “Don’t listen to Jonas.”

“He’s an ass, dude.” Magnus shrugged. “It’s not like you couldn’t easily find a new boyfriend.”

“I don’t want a new boyfriend.” Isak frowned.

“We heard that song, Isak.” Sana said gently. “We know it was about Chris. Your relationship isn’t healthy.”

“She’s right.” Jonas agreed. “I’m sorry, though.”

“It’s seriously not about Chris!” Isak sighed. “It really is about me.”

The group fell into an awkward silence after that. Isak assumed they were working it out in their heads.

“Great show Isak.” Even said after a moment, “Didn’t get a chance to say it earlier,”

Isak smiled up at him. “Thanks.”

“Beer?” Chris asked as he approached the group, putting a glass bottle in Isak’s hand. “Can we talk?” He asked, ignoring the looks from Isak’s friends.

Isak nodded and said goodbye to his friends, letting himself be led into the living room and into Chris’ lap as he took a seat in an empty arm chair.

“I’m sorry I freaked out earlier. I shouldn’t have cornered you like that or accused you like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Isak replied grumpily.

“I won’t do that again, Isak.” When Isak didn’t reply Chris tried again. “I’m really sorry, baby. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t ever want to hurt you like that.”

Isak nodded reluctantly. “I believe you.” He wasn’t sure if that was the truth.

“You do?” Chris grinned at him, leaning forward into Isak’s space.

“I do.” Isak replied, though he wasn’t sure if it was to assure his boyfriend or himself. “I love you.”

Chris pulled him into a deep kiss. “I love you too.”

*******

The next show was far enough away that they had to book a hotel room which meant Chris wasn’t able to come. Isak was only a little happy about getting some space away from him. The label hired a larger van than the one they owned for them to travel in along with a trailer for all the gear.

“Sorry,” Even apologised for the thirteenth time since they had begun their journey. His knees were pressing into Isak’s from where they were sitting next to each other.

Isak, also for the thirteenth time, waved him off. “My legs are just as at fault as yours.”

“We’re not far.” Sana commented from her comfortable seat in the front.

“I can’t wait to stretch.” Jonas groaned from Isak’s other side.

“Can we put the radio on?” Magnus requested from the back.

Eva shook her head. “No just use Spotify there’s better music on there.”

“No there’s too much choice on Spotify.” Magnus replied. “Sana?”

“We’ll never agree unanimously.” Sana waved them both off. “Listen to your own music.”

*******

“I’ll get the key cards, everyone wait here.” Vilde instructed firmly when they arrived at the hotel. “Sana is with Eva, Noora is with me, Magnus and Mahdi have a room and Jonas, Isak and Even have a room. It’s a double and a single, sorry.”

“It’s cool, we don’t mind sharing.” Even took the key cards from Vilde and nudged Isak’s shoulder. “Do we?”

Isak took a card from him as he replied, “Of course not.”

He did.

Jonas called the single bed before Isak could make the move which left him having a small freak out in the bathroom while the other two were already in bed. He should not be nervous to sleep in the same bed as his friend. That’s all he and Even were. Chris was Isak’s boyfriend, who he loved. So he could share a bed with his guitar tech for one night, what was the harm? Maybe the harm was the guilt he felt. It felt like going behind Chris’ back.

Isak shook himself out of the thoughts he was having and splashed his face with cold water before going back into the room and getting into the bed beside Even. Jonas was already asleep.

“Excited to play tomorrow?”

“Wha-?” Isak turned in surprise. It felt like Even was _right there_ and _too close_ and it was all a lot for Isak to take in.

Even was grinning. “Feeling jumpy?”

Isak rolled his eyes. “You gave me a fright.”

Even nodded with a raised eyebrow, “Okay,”

Isak didn’t think he was going to get much sleep that night.

 

 

*******

Isak kept messing up at sound check and snapping at his friends when they talked to him. He blamed it on the lack of sleep.

“Are you okay dude?” Jonas asked as he set his drum sticks down on top of an amp. “Not feeling sick or anything?”

Isak shook his head. “I’m fine. Sorry for being so…” Isak waved his hand in a non-committal gesture.

“Grumpy?” Jonas supplied for him.

Isak rolled his eyes.

Jonas frowned when the comment didn’t even get him a shove on the shoulder. “Tell Vilde if you need a break.” He said seriously. “All of this… it’s a lot of work.”

“I’m fine.”

“Yes, you said that.”

“Then back off.”

“Hey,” Jonas tried stepping between Isak and the guitar he was adjusting the strap of, “don’t take whatever’s bothering you out on me.”

Isak took a step back. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Do you… do you miss Chris?”

“It’s been one day.”

Jonas shrugged. “You live together. It must be weird when he’s not around.”

“It’s not because I miss Chris.”

“Okay.”

“I just…” Jonas kept quiet as Isak fought to find the right words. “I just want this to be perfect. I’ve only released one EP before, there’s so much pressure for this album to be good.”

Jonas rested a hand on Isak’s shoulder. “Hey,” he waited until his friend would look at him, “this album is going to be amazing, and not just because I’m on it.”

Isak breathed a laugh. “It needs to be done by next month though.” He replied more seriously.

“You only have, what, five more songs that need recording for it?” Isak nodded. “So that’ll be done in no time. You can’t let yourself stress too much over this, Iss. You’ll burn yourself out before anything is done.”

Isak took a deep breath and eventually nodded his agreement. “Thank you.”

Jonas smiled and the mood was suddenly a lot lighter. “You need to change before the show.”

*******

Isak rushed into his apartment after a meeting, face flushed and jacket half falling off him, Sana following him in a calmer manner.

The short promotional tour (if you could really call it a tour) was finished and Isak was up to his neck in recording studios and meetings with corporate people in suits. He had been in a meeting with Sana over backdrops for the tour he would be going on after the album release, when he had, had an idea and Sana had to physically stop his leg from bouncing under the table as he impatiently waited for the meeting to be over so that he could leave and tell her.

“What happened to you?” Jonas asked laughing.

“I know what I want my video to be.” Isak replied excitedly. “For _Youth_ ,”

“That’s great.” Even smiled, throwing an arm over the back of the couch as he turned his body to look at Isak. “That doesn’t explain the state you’re in though.”

“He ran up the stairs. All of them.” Sana replied as she took a seat.

His friend’s laughed as Isak placed his bag down behind the couch. “Is Chris home?”

“No.” Eva replied cheerily from her place on the floor by Vilde’s feet. “Why do you think we’re here?”

Isak rolled his eyes. “Haha very funny,”

“What’s the idea?” Magnus asked excitedly, always one to be able to easily change an awkward situation.

“Oh! Yeah. I was thinking it should be chill. I have this image in my head of me and another guy in bed just, like, smoking and talking? And maybe a party scene or something,”

“That sounds cool.” Mahdi complemented. “Who’ll play the other guy?”

Isak shrugged as he took a seat by Even. “Chris?”

Eva groaned but Sana spoke up before an argument could occur. “Have you ordered the pizza yet?”

“Are you all staying?” Isak asked laughing. “This isn’t a hotel.”

Even wrapped an arm around Isak’s shoulders and shook him gently. “You love having us mooch off of you. You’ll be able to afford to pay for our every meal soon enough Mr Pop Star.”

“Fuck off.” Isak shoved him back laughing. “I’ll go call Chris.”

“Where is he?” Sana asked.

Isak shrugged. “Probably with William,”

Noora frowned, but kept quiet until Isak had left the room. “Chris isn’t with William.” She announced when he was out of site.

Everyone turned from where they had watched Isak walk away, all with similarly confused faces.

“What do you mean?” Vilde asked.

“William’s working today, he won’t be free until after six.”

Even frowned, “Then where would Chris be?”

“Said he was busy,” Isak said softly, letting his return known to the group.

Noora nodded, “You can talk to him later.”

*******

Three hours later everyone had left and Isak was left sitting in sweats and one of Chris’ t-shirts, scrolling down his Twitter feed for anything remotely interesting. At the sound of the front door opening Isak dropped his phone to the couch cushion, standing as his boyfriend entered the room.

“Hey.” He greeted softly.

“Hi,” Chris took long strides over the room and pecked Isak on the lips. “Sorry I couldn’t take your call I was about to meet with someone.”

Isak frowned, “Who?”

Chris shrugged the question off, “Nothing too important, just my dad.”

“Okay.”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Isak shook his head and tried to smile. “I have a video idea. That’s all I was going to tell you earlier.”

“Yeah? What were you thinking?” Isak explained his idea to Chris who nodded along. “That sounds good. Who’s going to be playing the other guy, though?”

“I was hoping you would do it.”

“Isak…”

“I know, I know you don’t want to be involved this way but… well I’m going to be kissing whoever else is in it and I’d rather it was you.”

“I won’t be jealous of you kissing another guy.” Chris laughed. “Honestly, I don’t mind.”

“In that case…”

“You’ve already thought of someone?”

Isak blushed. “Well Even… he’s already in a relationship and I trust him… if he and Sonja are okay with it?”

Chris sighed. “Okay. Ask him tomorrow. Capital will want their say, obviously.”

“Thank you.”

“Now…” Chris stepped into Isak’s space, hands in his hips, guiding them backwards into the hallway. “I haven’t got to see you all day.”

Isak smirked and leant in to kiss his boyfriend, allowing Chris to manhandle him towards the bedroom.

*******

Sonja was hosting a party the following weekend. Isak said goodbye to Vilde, Eva, Noora, and Jonas as they left the recording studio to go to it, saying he wanted to start recording the lyrics to another song first.

“Okay, but you better be there by 22.” Jonas warned as he shrugged his jacket on.

“I will be.” He promised.

Okay, so he was running a little late. He tended to do that when he was in the zone of writing. Jonas would forgive him. On the tram ride over to Sonja’s apartment Sana called.

“Hey Sana, tell Jonas I’m sorry and that I’m on my way.”

“What? No, Isak that’s not why I’m calling.”

“Okay…? Then what’s up?”

“Isak, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“Sana?”

“Chris was with a girl.”

“Okay… and…?”

“He was _kissing_ her.”

“…”

“Isak?”

“I’m on my way. Is he still there?”

“Yeah but-”

“I’ll see you in a few.”

Arriving at the party Isak found Sana, Jonas and Eva huddled together looking worried.

“Where is he?” He demanded.

“He left.”

“Okay… but it was definitely… definitely Chris you saw? Not someone else?”

Sana looked at him sadly. “I’m sorry. It was definitely Chris.”

“I need beer.”

“Maybe you should-”

“I need beer.” Isak interrupted Jonas.

“There’s some in the spare room over there. Kitchen’s crowded.”

Isak thanked Eva before disappearing into the thankfully empty room. He took a can from the cooler and did his best attempt at downing it in as few gulps as possible before moving on to a second, sipping it as he sat down on the bed. He took out his phone and found Chris’ number in his recent call history.

The phone rang for a while and then Isak was met with Chris’ voicemail. “Asshole,” Isak cursed, moving to his text messages and sending Chris an angry message letting him know that his friends had told him what he had done. He couldn’t help but let angry tears fall as the text went unread.

The door opened and Even appeared, looking worried. Isak wiped at his face as he closed the door behind him. “Can I sit?”

“Do whatever you want.” Isak replied, trying his best to keep his voice steady.

“Okay…” Even sat down beside Isak and they stayed like that for a few moments, an awkward silence filling the space between them.

“What happened to your hand?” Isak noticed the skin over his knuckles was red and looked as if were bruising.

Even tucked his hand away, “You know,” He started slowly after another moment, “I sometimes wish that I had made a move before him. Back in high school,”

Isak looked up slowly, frowning. “What?”

Even chuckled out of awkwardness, his unhurt hand going up to rub the back of his neck, “I liked you. I wasn’t subtle about it. I actually thought that maybe there was something. Between us I mean.  But then… then you got together with Chris and I met Sonja… so… I’m not sure where I was going with this I just thought that maybe-”

He was interrupted with Isak kissing him, roughly and uncomfortably. Even responded almost on instinct, reciprocating the kiss for a few moments before pulling away quickly.

“Stop- stop Isak, wait.”

Isak pulled away with a flushed face, a new wave of embarrassment overwhelming him. “Shit. _Fuck_. What am I doing? I need to… I need to go home, I think.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay we’ll just explain what happened…”

“You can’t tell!”

“We have to, Isak! Sonja… shit she’ll… I don’t feel that way anymore-”

“I’m going to go.” Isak interrupted, rising to his feet on unsteady legs.

“Isak!” Even called as Isak rushed through the living room, “Hey, slow down,” Even reached for his arm.

Isak dodged the touch. “Fuck off; all of you can fuck off.” Isak threw back as he opened the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess where the inspiration for this came from lmao
> 
> Song mentioned:  
> Youth - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYAghEq5Lfw&index=4&t=0s&list=WL


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [the tumblr account where social media posts for the fic are posted](https://ebechn.tumblr.com/)

Knocking on Isak’s front door woke him up the next morning. He opened it with bleary eyes, not quite awake yet. “Eva?”

“You’re alive!” Eva grinned, letting herself in and walking through the apartment to the kitchen. “You look like you need coffee.” She called and Isak could hear her starting the coffee machine as he closed the door behind her.

“Why wouldn’t I be alive?”

Eva laughed. “No one’s heard from you since you told everyone to, and I quote, “fuck off”, last night. Even was so mad he punched Chris in the face.”

Isak frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Eva turned from where she was retrieving two mugs from a cupboard. “Even punched Chris before you arrived at the party,” She said it like it was obvious.

“He did? He never mentioned that.”

Eva frowned. “He didn’t?”

“No… but, um, is… is he okay?”

“Chris or Even?”

“... Even.”

“His hand is a little bruised but he’ll live.”

Isak hummed as he passed the milk over.

“Thanks.” Silence lapsed over them. “Hey, so… what are you going to do?”

Isak shrugged. “He hasn’t done something like this in so long. I really thought he had changed."

Eva nodded, leaning against the counter, mug between her hands. “Are you okay?”

Isak opened his mouth to reply, but words weren’t coming out and his eyes were stinging. He put his mug down to free his hands and rubbed at his face.

“Oh, Isak, I’m sorry.” Eva hurried, placing her mug down beside his and bringing her arms around her friend. “It’ll be okay.” Isak shook his head because it wouldn’t be okay, though, would it? He was just as bad as Chris for what he had done that night, out of anger of all things.

“Isak, you home?” Jonas’ voice shouted from the hallway.

“In here!” Eva called back, running a comforting hand up and down Isak’s back.

“Hey what’re you doing… Isak?”

Isak pulled away from Eva, hands once again wiping tears from his face. “I’m okay.”

Jonas snorted. “You’re looking better than Chris will be.”

Isak attempted a smile. “Eva told me.”

“Dude it was so funny! It was like Even was seeing red or something, he just punched him, didn’t shout or say anything. Sonja was pretty pissed; I think he got Chris’ blood on her rug.”

Sonja. Isak hadn’t even considered Even’s girlfriend. “ _Fuck_ …” Isak groaned into his palms.

“What?”

“Have either of you talked to Even?”

“No, he stayed back to help Sonja clean up.”

“You’ve gone really pale are you sure that you’re okay?”

“I-” Isak stopped before he said anything. It probably wouldn’t be a very good idea to tell his friends that he cheated on Chris, and made Even cheat on Sonja, last night. “I’m fine. Actually… no, I feel a little sick. Just hungover, probably,” He wasn’t, and by the looks on their faces Jonas and Eva didn’t believe him either.

But, because they were both _angels_ , neither said anything. “Drink your coffee.” Eva smiled, pushing the mug towards him.

“Is there any for me?”

Eva laughed, “Sure, you know where everything is.”

Jonas rolled his eyes.

*******

Eva and Jonas left after midday and Isak turned his phone off after receiving multiple texts from everyone except the two people he should be talking to. Before he did he sent Even a text apologising and then one to Chris asking if they could talk and went to this room to write. It was past dinner before he was finished. He fished through his camera roll after turning his phone back on, ignoring the notifications that came through, to find a photo to upload to Instagram with the new lyrics. He chose one Chris had taken of him while he was sleeping and if it was in the vain hope that Chris would see well then that was Isak’s business.

Isak ordered a pizza and opened his laptop to watch Netflix while he waited. It was only after he had chosen something to watch and the episode had loaded that he noticed he had a text from Jonas.

**Jonas**

_18:49_

_What’s with the picture?? You’re not forgiving him already are you? Has he even apologised?_

He received a similar text from Sana a little while later but he heard nothing from Even. He told himself he shouldn’t be disappointed. He ignored the texts in favour of going to his room to write some more.

Writing about Chris wouldn’t be productive, Isak reminded himself. He was too confused to delve into that. Isak took a shower and a text from his father after getting out was enough to inspire him. It didn’t take him long to start writing.

“ _There’s a little house, on a perfect little hill, just short of a fairy tale. There’s a child with a million ways to feel, caught up in a hurricane_.” Isak’s phone ringing brought caused him to pause his playing. Chris’ name was on the screen. Isak let it go to voicemail.

He needed a walk.

The loud noises of the clubs and the sounds of loud drunk people wasn’t as comforting as Isak had hoped, but he didn’t feel like going inside one and drinking.

“Isak?” He turned around to see two people walking over to him with grins on their faces. “It is you! Oh my God! Hi!”

Isak laughed awkwardly and let the girl hug him tightly. “Hi.”

“I was at the last show of the tour you were so good.”

“You were.” The boy who was with her added, “You’re very talented.”

Isak smiled politely. “Thank you.”

“Oh! Can we get a picture, please?”

“Sure, yeah,”

He took pictures with them both forcing a wide smile.

“Are you excited about the album release?” The boy asked afterwards.

“It’s a lot of stress but yeah, I’m excited.”

“It feels like so long since the _Wild_ EP was released.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Isak apologised. Being reminded of how long it had been since he had released anything always made him feel guilty. It was part of why he never read comments online. “It’s not long now, though.” He reminded.

“Yeah,” There was a pause before she spoke up again, with a question he could really do without at that moment. “How’s Chris?”

Isak took a few steps back and motioned down the street to nowhere in particular. “Sorry I really have to go.”

“Okay, it was nice to meet you!”

“You too,” He smiled politely and turned around before he could be kept any longer.

*******

Chris was in the kitchen making popcorn when Isak arrived home.

“Hi.”

“You’re talking to me again?”

Chris sighed heavily. “You didn't try to contact me much either.”

Isak leant his weight on his right foot and leant against the door frame. “You’re the one who cheated on me.”

The microwave beeped loudly and Chris busied himself by opening the bag and dumping the popcorn in the glass bowl on the counter.

“Chris?”

Chris turned and Isak cringed back at the dark bruise covering one of Chris’s eyes and the blotchy red colour of his cheek. “Yeah well Even got back at me for you.”

“Don’t blame Even for this.” Isak shot back defensively. “He didn’t make you kiss someone else.” His argument felt contradictory considering what had happened the day before.

“She kissed me first.”

“The person who kisses first isn’t solely responsible.” He replied too quickly.

“Iss… come on, this is stupid.”

“How in the _hell_ is this stupid?”

“If you were in the same situation I’d forgive you.”

That cut Isak’s argument short. Would Chris still say that if he knew what Isak had done? Except… Isak was angry. Isak was angry and upset and Even was there when Chris wasn’t. So… it was kind of Chris’ fault, right?

Isak sighed. How could he argue that Chris was wrong when he had kissed Even? “It’s okay.”

Chris pushed away from the counter slowly. “It is?”

“We’ll work this out.”

Chris smiled and walked over to Isak, wrapping his arms around his waist to pull him close. “Of course we will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song mentioned:  
> The Quiet - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vykVdJDu28A&t=0s&index=4&list=WL  
> Nightmares - All Time Low: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YQ3ibJc3o4&list=WL&index=12


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [the tumblr account where social media posts for the fic are posted](https://ebechn.tumblr.com/)

“I broke up with Sonja.” Even says as he closes the door to Isak’s apartment.

Isak frowned as Chris asked, “Why?”

“I just… it felt like I was with her for convenience.” Even replied, watching Isak. “We’d been together so long I’d convinced myself breaking up would leave me lonely.”

“But you love her?” Chris asked as Isak remained silent.

“I do.” Even shrugged, “Or… I love her but not in the way I should if I’m in a relationship with her.”

Chris nodded. “I’m sorry to hear about that.”

“Probably for the best,” Even raised his eyebrow at Vilde who he only then noticed was sitting at the table. “Sorry am I interrupting?”

“Actually, you should probably be here for this.”

“Oh?”

“Capital accepted Isak’s idea for the music video so we need to actually plan it. I’ve booked an apartment for the filming location already. We were just working out the lighting arrangements.”

Isak seemed to perk up at the talk of the music video. “I want lots of colour, purples mainly.”

“We need actors too.”

“Julian said he’d hire them.” Chris mentioned as he left to go into the kitchen.

“Who’s Julian?” Even asked even though he wasn’t particularly interested.

“He works for Capital Records.” Vilde informed.

“Babe do you want leftovers for dinner tonight?”

Even rolled his eyes at the nickname.

“Sure.” Isak called back. “No salad though.”

Chris laughed as he came back into the room with a bottle of water. “You need salad you don’t eat well as it is.”

After a couple hours Even found his opportunity to be left alone with Isak after Vilde had gone to make tea in the kitchen and Chris had gone to take a shower.

“So… I told Sonja.”

Isak coughed as he tried not to spit out the water he had just taken a drink of. “Excuse me?”

“I couldn’t keep it from her.” Even sighed, “I _like_ you, Isak, and I won’t do anything with it because you’re with Chris and we’re friends but… I couldn’t kiss her without wishing it was you and I felt so guilty-”

“You can’t tell Chris.” Isak interrupted quickly.

“You didn’t tell him?”

“Of course I didn’t!” Isak yelled in a whisper. “You think he’d still be here if I had?”

“You forgave _him_.”

“Well... yeah. I was angry at him, though. He'd be even angrier if he knew I'd made a fuss but had done the same.”

“So... you haven't told him because you want him to stay with you, but because you also cheated you think he'd break up with you?”

“Yeah,”

“That’s fucked.”

“I know it is, alright?”

They sat in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say after the conversation they had just had. Vilde didn't mention the tension when she returned with her mug. Isak’s phone ringing interrupted the silence.

“Did you forget something?”

“No,” Isak’s sure Vilde rolled her eyes, “I just got an email from Julian. They’ve got the actors sorted already and they’ve approved Even for playing the love interest.”

Isak sat up straight in his chair and brought his hand up to hold his chin, as if he were thinking. “So we’re on?”

“We start filming next week and if everything goes to plan then the video should be ready the day of the album release.”

Isak let out a sigh. “This is happening.”

“Yes!” Vilde replied excitedly. She downed the last of her mug and stood up. “Okay, I have to go but I’ll talk to you on Friday with the schedule.”

“Bye Vilde.”

“I should probably go too.” Even announced.                                                                      

“Okay.”

“I’ll see myself out.” Isak nodded and watched as Even picked up his jacket and tied his shoes.

“See you on Monday.” He called as Chris came into the room.

“What’s happening Monday?”

Isak grinned, a genuine smile, and wrapped his arms around Chris’ neck. “My music video.”

“That was quick.”

“Vilde can be convincing.”

Chris hummed. 

“So... you want to go to bed early tonight?”

“Why would I want to do that?”

Isak rolled his eyes. “Not to sleep, dumbass.”

*******

“Have you spoken to Even?” Eva asks as they found a seat in the cafe. 

Isak shook his head, “Not since we got the go ahead for the video. Why?”

“Oh,” Eva smiled sheepishly, “but you know that he broke up with Sonja?”

Isak nodded.

“I was hoping you’d know why.” She admitted.

“I... I do.”

Eva gasped over dramatically. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“Because it’s not your business,”

Eva frowned as she stirred her coffee. “It’s not your business, why do you know?”

“Sorry.” He apologised. “It’s just that... or, well,” Isak shook his head to clear his thoughts, “the thing is that I’m sort of the reason... that they broke up.”

“No!” Eva leant back in her seat dramatically. “How did you do that?”

“I... might have kissed Even?”

“Oh my god,” 

“You can’t tell anyone Eva.” Isak stressed. “Chris doesn’t know.”

“Wait," Eva leant forward over the table, "so when did this happen?”

“The night Chris cheated. I was mad and upset and Even was _there_...”

Eva paused to assess the situation. “Okay but... do you think Sonja will tell?”

“I hadn’t considered that.” Isak admitted. 

“If she hasn’t yet... then maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll think you told because Even did?” Eva tried to amend quickly. “Hey,” she said softly when Isak remained quiet, “it’ll be okay.”

*******

Isak wasn’t sure if Even would even turn up for filming the following Monday, but he did, looking cheerful and ready. He looked the opposite of how Isak felt.

“Hey.” Isak greeted when Even was seated beside him to get his hair and makeup done.

“Hi.”

Isak took a quick glance at the hair and makeup crew before continuing. "I need to know if Sonja plans on telling.”

Even laughed bitterly, “She’s a good person. She won’t say anything.”

“Okay, but are you sure?”

Even rolled his eyes, “Yes, Isak, I’m sure."

“We need Isak and Even plus four extras in the bedroom.” The director called as Isak had a makeup brush dusted over his forehead. 

Isak stood from his chair with a nod of thanks to the makeup artist. Chris walked over before he could follow them to the bedroom. 

“Can I speak with you for a moment?”

“Why?”

Chris took Isak’s arm and led him over to a free corner in the room. “I know you kissed Even. I heard you talking about it the other night.”

Isak flushed and looked over Chris’ shoulder to check if anyone was listening to them. “I’m sorry.” He began, tearing up suddenly, “I was just so angry and you weren’t answering me and-”

“Hey,” Chris took Isak’s hands in his own and rubbed the backs of them with his thumbs. “Isak, I’m not angry. Upset, but I understand.”

“You do?” Isak asked sceptically.

“As long as there’s nothing going on between you two.” Chris chuckled and Isak copied it awkwardly.

“Of course not,”

“Is everything okay over here?” Jonas appeared behind Chris. “They’re wondering where you are.”

“Sorry I’ll be right there.” Isak nodded. “Everything’s fine, Jonas,”

“Go film your music video.” Chris kissed Isak, letting go of his hands to hold his face between them instead. “I’m so proud of you.”

Filming wasn’t as awkward as Isak had thought it would be. Even was professional, as were the actors around them. The only off-putting part was Chris being present for Isak and Even kissing. It felt like the party all over again. Like he was cheating but this time he wasn’t hiding it.

Keeping eye contact with Even as they smoked, studying his features and kissing him over and over again… that was when Isak realised there was a problem. He had lied to Chris. There _was_ something going on with Even. Isak just wasn’t sure what it was or what it meant.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the fast pace and short chapters I'll try and improve on that.
> 
>  
> 
> [the tumblr account where social media posts for the fic are posted](https://ebechn.tumblr.com/)

“Where the hell is Isak?” Vilde cursed as she watched people running around to get the stage ready.

“I’m here!” Isak panted. “Sorry.”

Chris appeared behind him looking pleased. “We got distracted.”

Isak elbowed him. “I wouldn’t be late for this.”

“Chris, you’re helping Magnus with merchandise because Mahdi couldn’t be here.”

“The fuck I’m doing that. I want to see Isak play.”

Even rolled his eyes as he pushed a guitar rack past them, “You can hear him sing anytime you want stop being a baby.”

“What’s your problem?” Chris replied angrily, stepping forward towards Even, who ignored him and kept walking. “Fucking pretentious-”

“Stop it.” Isak hushed. The two had been at each other’s throats since the day of the music video filming and the tension wasn’t making the release show any easier.

“Everyone’s just stressed.” Vilde tried to amend the situation as Chris remained wound up. “Can we get Isak wired up?”

“My in ears are in the green room.”

“I’ll get them.” Chris replied and with a kiss to Isak’s cheek he disappeared.

“So… you’ve gained a lot of followers.” Vilde spoke after a moment of silence.

Isak shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

“This could be it, you know? That’s why I’m being so… bossy. This could start your career, properly-”

“Hey Vilde?” Isak interrupted.

She didn’t appear phased by it. “Yes?”

“What if… what if it doesn’t? And then the label, what if they give up on me? They can’t legally throw me out but they can stop caring and then what do I do? My music’s tied to them and I’ll have no way of getting it out and I’ll be stuck and-”

“You can’t think like that.”

Isak pulled his sleeves down over his hands out of nervousness. “You’ve all put so much into me… what if I can’t pull it off? What if I’m not as good as everyone wants me to be?”

“You are.” Vilde put her clipboard down and stepped forward to reach her arms up and around Isak’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “We would tell you if you were shit.”

Isak laughed, returning the hug. “I’d hope so.”

“Got them,” Chris interrupted their hug. “Might want to get ready it’s supposed to start soon.”

Isak pulled away from Vilde and sent her a small nod of thanks. “Thanks for finding them.” He turned towards Chris and gave him a quick kiss. The kiss wasn’t returned.

“I don’t have to start worrying about her too do I?”

Isak frowned. “What do you mean?”

Chris sighed. “Well I already have to watch out for Even.”

“Even’s my friend,”

“You kiss all your friends?”

“Don’t start this Chris.”

“I’m not starting anything.”

“Yes you are.” Isak replied, frustrated.

“Isak!” Sana was calling him. “They’re about to turn the lights down on stage.”

“I’ve got to go.”

“Shouldn’t you be helping Magnus’ at the back, Chris?” Sana raised an eyebrow at Chris.

“Just wishing Isak good luck,”

“Right well make it quick.”

*******

****

“Oh… no, Even why…” Isak was about to text Even asking him to take down the Instagram post when Chris walked into the office.

“Cute photo of you both,”

Isak sighed. “It’s old. I didn’t know he even had it on his phone still.”

“He posted it to make me angry.”

Isak sighed. “Yes, probably, but please don’t be. It’s my album release day; I want this to be a good day.”

“Did you date in high school?”

Isak rolled his eyes. “No.”

“Are you sure? Because you look like a couple in the picture,”

“It was a joke, okay? Jonas and Eva had sent us a similar one, we were messing around. It was right before I met you.”

“So you wanted to date him?”

Isak groaned. “That’s not at all what I said and this really isn’t the place for this conversation.”

“I don’t think you should be friends with him anymore, Isak.”

“Excuse me?”

Chris walked around the large table finally and took the seat next to his boyfriend. “I’ve never been the jealous type until he got involved.”

“He’s never been involved!” Isak raised his voice, standing from his seat and began pacing around the large room. “I made a mistake, you remind me of that every chance you get, but you made a mistake first and if you had just answered your phone I wouldn’t have done anything to make it worse!”

Chris rose to his feet too, frown set on his face. “You can’t blame me for your fuck up.”

Isak felt angry tears start forming in his eyes. “I’m blaming you for hooking up with a girl while being in a long term relationship with me.”

“And you hooked up with one of your best friends, who you work with, and who had a girlfriend at the time! Do I have to bring up the making out in the music video too? A music video you wanted him to be a part of?”

“I wanted you to be a part of it first but you refused.”

“You’re blaming me again! All you do is blame other people when you mess up. You probably blamed Eva for your meddling with her relationship with Jonas, right?”

It took Isak a moment to process and reply to that jab. “You have no right to throw that in my face.”

“Guys?”

“You’re self-destructive. You made your friends miserable because you couldn’t handle your crush.”

“Stop it.” Isak was crying now, lips trembling as he spoke.

“Chris-”

The extra voice went unnoticed by the arguing couple. “I’m done, Isak. You’re not good for me.”

“Stop it. Please.”

“I’m going back to the apartment. I’ll ask William if I can crash with him and Noora.”

“Chris…” Isak watched as Chris shoved past the crowd that had gathered in the doorway and suddenly Jonas and Magnus were in front of him, shielding him from the other on lookers.

“It’s okay.” Jonas muttered into Isak’s hair as he hugged him tightly.

“He just-”

“I know.”

“Why did I-”

“Shh. It’ll be okay.”

“No it won’t be.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I know at least one person missed the updates, I'm sorry it took so long I really have been busy lol and sorry it’s so short I need to get my motivation for writing back after being gone from it for so long.

A month after Chris and Isak’s break up and everyone was still walking on eggshells around him. The album release tour was starting in a week and whenever he wasn’t practicing for that he was writing in the studio. He was finishing the second song he had been working on when Mahdi appeared at the open door.

“Magnus, Jonas and I were wondering if you wanted to have a guy’s night. We promise to provide food if you provide FIFA.”

 

Isak laughed lightly. “Sure. But only if you guys help me film something.”

Mahdi shrugged. “As long as it isn’t porn I’m down.”

Isak rolled his eyes, but he smiled. “It’s for YouTube. I was thinking of maybe posting some songs on there. Ones that won’t make it to any records,”

Mahdi smiled brightly. “We can help you out.”

“Okay, I’ll be out there in a minute.”

 

 

 

*******

As the tour began things were still awkward, mostly between Isak and Even, but it couldn’t be avoided one night when they were both left alone on the small bus they were touring in.

“Do you want tea?” Even asked from the ‘kitchen’ area, looking over his shoulder at Isak who was draped over the couch at the front of the bus, one leg hanging off the edge and the other bent up on the cushions.

“Gross.”

Even scoffed. “You shouldn’t be rude to your elders.”

Isak looked up from his phone with a raised eyebrow. “You sound like Chris now.”

“Don’t compare me to him.”

Isak laughed. “You’re right, sorry.”

Even shoved Isak’s leg off the cushion to make room for him. Stop being so slobby,”

“I’m allowed to be a slob I’m tired.”

Even smiled gently and after a moment of silence he leaned over to try and see what Isak was doing. “What’re you doing?”

Isak sat up and showed Even what he was looking at. “Vilde thinks I should post this but it’s not a very good photo.”

“What’s not good about it?”

“It’s a photo of me.”

Even rolled his eyes and shoved Isak’s shoulder. “Where did your confidence go, huh?”

“With Chris,” Isak said, still looking at the photo.

“Hey now,” Even set his tea aside and wrapped an arm around Isak’s shoulders. “I thought we have got past this?”

“I don’t keep love around.”

Even frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Kiss me.”

Even abruptly pulled back. “No.”

Isak dropped his phone onto the floor and pulled himself up and closer to Even. “Please. Kiss me.”

Even bit his lip for a moment before leaning forward before he could change his mind and kissed Isak. His hands held either side of the younger boys face and his eyes were screwed shut. Isak kissed back eagerly, though shyly. His hands moved to slide inside Even’s jean jacket, over his hoodie.

“This is a bad idea.” Even murmured as they paused to catch their breath.

Isak shook his head. “Don’t think too much.”

*******

Even did think too much. He left Isak asleep on the couch after they had kissed some more, had the Isak’s hands roam a little further than they should. He let Isak have the moment because he knew what Isak had been going through. He was stressed and exhausted and the person that was usually there to help him deal with it all had broken up with him.

Isak was still there in the morning when Even woke up. Vilde and Eva were making coffee and talking quietly.

“Did he not go to bed?”

Eva shrugged. “He was there when we all got back so I guess not.”

“Why didn’t you wake him?”

Vilde laughed. “Have you ever tried waking that boy up?”

Even chuckled. “You’re right.”

“So…” Eva was giving Even her ‘give me the details’ look. “You’re speaking again?”

“We’re on good terms, I think.”

Eva grinned. “That’s great! Does this mean-”

“Can you please shut the fuck up it’s too early for this much talking.” Isak interrupted grouching.

“It’s eleven AM.” Vilde corrected sternly. “You’re lucky that today is an off day.”

“So I can go back to sleep? Awesome,”

“Actually Jonas wants to look around the city.”

“I’ll shower then.”

Even watched Isak go to the back of the bus, chewing his lip nervously. “Do you think I could tag along?”

Eva grinned again. “I think that would be a _fantastic_ idea.”

 

 

*******

Isak didn’t bring up the kiss for the rest of the tour, so neither did Even. He also didn’t tell anyone else about it because he didn’t know what would happen if Eva or god forbid Magnus got a hold of the information.

So on the morning of the day they were making the last leg of the drive back to Oslo, when Even woke up with his arm numb under Isak’s head and both their shirts missing, the elder was incredibly confused. The confusion didn’t last long, because they may have been drunk, they weren’t drunk enough to not remember what they had done. Even couldn’t bring himself to wake the sleeping boy, though. He had a smile on his face and his hand was gripping the sheets so tightly up around his face. He looked so _innocent_ and _young_ , so peaceful. Even hadn’t seen him that way in a long while.

Even let himself fall back asleep but woke up again to someone shaking him. “Even?”

Isak voice was heavy with sleep. He sounded like he needed a glass water.

“Is this okay?”

Evan rubbed his eyes to wake himself up more before joining Isak in sitting up. As much as it was possible in the bunks, anyway, the pair was practically on top of each other.

“Is what okay?”

Isak gestured between them. “This.” He brushed his hair out of his face and it revealed to Even a very worried looking Isak. In a rush he was rambling, “I like you. I _really_ like you and it was okay when I was with Chris because I loved him and it pushed those feelings away but now he’s dumped me and I’m alone and the feelings for you have come back and now we’ve slept together and I like you… please say something.”

“I like you too.”

Isak looked up from his lap to look at Even shyly. “Where does that leave us then?”

Even wet his lips nervously. “I should probably take you out on a date.”

Isak’s face flushed lightly. “Okay.”

“Ugh, _finally_ ,” Someone that sounded like Mahdi cheered from somewhere on the bus.

“Are you all listening to our conversation?” Even called out, laughing. Isak hid his face with the bed sheets, embarrassed.

“Tour bus 101; don’t have private conversations when everyone is on board.” Isak could hear the eye roll in her voice. “Your clothes are also on the floor outside the bunk. Please pick them up.”

Even laughed again. “Sorry!”

“I can never leave this bunk.” Isak groaned from beside him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs Isak was writing:  
> Too Good - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iljAm1hoLU&list=WL&index=2  
> Happier - Ed Sheeran: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWQN7u6g62c&index=4&list=WL&t=0s


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boi it has been a while
> 
> (I used a random park name don't think too much into why it was used.)
> 
> Also just like... I don't know where I'm going with this but there won't be many more chapters and I want to apolgise for how not good this has been lmao I had higher expectations but I started writing it at the worst time I could have and have been busy etc etc so... ya..

It was going well. Their friends were watching them carefully and the pair knew it, though. Jonas and Eva were particularly harsh on Even whenever there were petty arguments that didn’t escalate to anything other than a bad mood. But overall, it was good. So good that Isak had already found inspiration, as soon as he was back from the tour and they were all resting he was hauling himself up in his apartment (sans Chris) and writing new music.

“You’re having a meet up.” Vilde said when Isak answered the door to her too early on a Saturday morning. Isak had been up late finishing a verse he was working on and had had to be picked up over Even’s shoulder (who had half moved in in order to look after the artist) and was forced to go to bed when the clock reached three am.

“Vilde.” Isak groaned, turning away and leaving the door open so that she could enter.

“Isak.” She replied back in the same tone. “I know we’re on a break but you’re writing and myself and the label think it would be good if you made yourself seen while you’re being quiet.”

“Being quiet?”

Vilde rolled her eyes and Even laughed as he handed Isak his coffee. “You should know not to expect too much from him in the morning.” He kissed his boyfriends templed and swiped hair from his eyes. “Listen to her, Isak. She knows what she’s talking about.”

Isak grumbled but sat down with Vilde at the kitchen table.

“Thank you, Even.” Vilde turned her attention back to Isak. “It’ll be at Frogner Park and will be free, people just need to turn up. Depending on the turn out we’ll allow photos, excetera.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow, I want you to post about it today.”

Isak frowned. “Isn’t that last minute?”

Vilde sighed. “That’s the point. It creates a hype around it, a little bit of harmless chaos online.”

“It sounds manipulative.”

“Marketing and my job are manipulative.” Vilde shrugged. “It’s how this industry works.”

Isak sent Even a look and the elder stifled a laugh.

“Here,” Vilde took out a folded piece of paper from her bag, “this is the information. Make sure to include it in your post.”

“Yes boss.”

Vilde gently smacked Isak’s arm in response. “Stop being like this, you know I’m doing this for you.”

“You’re doing this for money.” Isak replied, but he was smiling in a way that showed he knew that he was being a little harsh. “But thank you.”

 

*******

Isak ended up spending close to two hours taking pictures with people and if Vilde hadn’t promised to buy pizza for everyone when they got back to his apartment, he’d have been pissed. Instead, he was pissed because his door was unlocked and inside was Chris, three cardboard boxes piled by the front door.

Even was immediately defensive, pushing Isak behind his larger frame and stepping forward towards his boyfriends ex.

“Why are you here?” Isak muttered, pushing Even’s protective arm away and stepping out from behind him. “You have your stuff you have no right to be here.”

“I still have my key and I forgot a couple things. Like that,” Chris pointed towards the warn grey sweater Isak was wearing, “is mine and I’d like it back.”

Isak pulled the sleeves down over his hands as he felt Even tense beside him. He hadn’t exactly told his current boyfriend that he still wore some of the clothes Chris had left behind. “You gave this to me when you decided it didn’t fit you anymore.”

Chris sighed. “I want my things back, Isak.”

Isak felt his eyes sting and this really wasn’t the time to start crying but apparently his body felt differently. He never could handle Chris raising his voice at him, even if he didn’t sound angry. “You don’t have the right to do this.”

“You knew Isak wouldn’t be home.” Even spoke before Chris could reply. “You saw his post and you took the opportunity to come into our home. What the fuck-”

“‘Our’? You don’t live here.”

“Guys please don’t.”

“I have been-”

“You’re still second best-”

“Oh, shut up! You’re being childish!" Isak rolled his eyes at the two boys, exasperated and slightly surprised at his own confidence during the moment because his voice sounded a lot stronger than he felt. "Chris, please leave. Take your stuff, I don’t care, but just go.”

Chris picked up a notebook from the living room table and handed it over to Isak. “I'm leaving, but I found this, I took it by mistake. I like Around the World and Back the most.”

Isak snatched the notebook back quickly. “You read it?”

Chris shrugged. “Sure, you always let me read your writing.”

“You’re such an _asshole_.”

“I want you to think that.”

Isak and Even watched as Chris picked up his boxes and slid past them, his keys left behind on the table.

Silence filled the room until Even spoke quietly. “You still wear his clothes?”

Isak turned to Even quickly, eyes showing shame. “They aren’t really his anymore, they’ve been mine practically since we started dating.”

“But you still wear them?”

Even looked angry. Even rarely looked this angry and it frightened Isak a little.

He fiddled with the sleeves, unable to make eye contact with his boyfriend. “I’m just used to them, I guess.”

“Isak…” Even ran a hand through his hair. “Did you even think about how that would make me feel? I’m already second choice-”

“You’re not my second choice don’t think like that. Chris just put that in your head. If we’re talking who I dated first then Sara would be-”

“Don’t change the subject, Isak.”

“I can throw them away if it bothers you.”

“Can I read the song?”

“What?”

“Can I read the song Chris said he liked.”

Isak bit his lip.

“Isak. Please.”

Isak nodded. “Okay, yeah, you can.” He found the page and handed the book over. “But please remember it’s also about coming out and our relationship was new when I wrote it no one's ever seen it and he wasn’t…”

“Meant to see it either?” Even finished for him. Isak shook his head.

“I think I’m going to sleep at my place tonight.”

“W-what?” Isak stuttered. “Why?”

Even sighed and dropped the book in his hands to the chair beside him, still standing in the same place he was when they found Chris. “I think I need a little space.”

“Even please don’t, please he’s doing this deliberately, _please_ …”

Even pulled Isak against his chest, one hand in his hair and the other on his back, soothing. “It’ll be okay. I just need space. Okay?”

The younger nodded into his chest, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. “Okay.”

“I love you, baby.”

Isak nodded.

He waited until Even had gathered a few of his belongings and left with a brief kiss to the top of Isak's head to curl up on the couch, still wearing Chris’ sweater and hating himself for the small amount of comfort it brought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song mentioned: Around the World and Back - State Champs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iv9QGjnzOA&t=0s&list=WL&index=4  
> Song in his instagram post: Let Her Go - Passanger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA&index=4&t=0s&list=WL


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far! I wish I had finished this while I was still inspired to write it, but that didn't happen. I will hopefully go back and edit the whole story to make it better.

Isak wasn’t blind. He could see how seeing Chris had effected Even. Even, the person who never seemed to let other people put him down or stop him from doing what he wanted to do, was hurting because of Chris’ word and Isak’s actions and the younger didn’t know how to fix it. He wasn’t coming over as often, in fact, Isak had barely seen Even for the last half of his time off. 

Looking on the bright side, as Jonas had told him to do one night after one too many beers, it had given Isak time to write mostly uninterrupted, and time to himself after being surrounded by people for weeks on end. Isak refrained from mentioning that he liked having people around him. 

“I miss him.” Isak murmured to his friend as they set up in the recording booth at the studio. “I told him I was starting recording today. He didn’t reply. Not even to say good luck.” 

Jonas sighed heavily. “It’s going to work out, Isak. It will.” 

Isak didn’t reply verbally, but he shook his head, more to himself than to Jonas. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. 

Jonas couldn’t take seeing his best friend the way he was, he was short tempered and moody, some days it was as if he were in his relationship with Chris again. Deciding he had to do something, he emailed the unfinished song to himself before they left for the evening, and when he was back home he sent the copy to Even. 

Ignoring a greeting he wrote, ‘Isak didn’t ask me to do this. But I am tired of seeing him so sad. I thought the drama was over but apparently not so, here, I’m ending it. Please listen.’

With a bowl of ramen in one hand, Even pressed play on the audio file he had received from Jonas. In the same second that the song was finished Even’s laptop was closed shut, his half eaten bowl left on his bedside table and he was out the front door, barely remembering to take his phone with him. 

The only thing on Even’s mind was Isak, and getting to him as quickly as he could was his priority. 

The tram, of course, decided to be packed with people and Even found himself huddled against the door. To avoid catching awkward eye contact with a stranger the guitar tech took out his phone and scrolled through Instagram as a way to pass the time. 

He hadn’t expected his boyfriend to have posted a photo.

 

The post only increased his urgency to get to his apartment. 

Even thanked the lady with the pram that had held the apartment complexes door open for him - after he had shouted for her to do so - because he didn’t want to give away his arrival by ringing the buzzer. 

“ _ Isak _ .” Even breathed, catching his breath after striding up the stairs as Isak answered the door.

“Did something happen?” Isak asked, worried. He hadn’t expected to see a disheveled Even at his door that night.

“I’m sorry.” Even panted. “I don’t know why I was upset by any of this I’m being ridiculous. I’m sorry.”

Isak pulled Even inside, closing the door as Even shucked off his jacket. “Why are you sorry?”

Even wrapped his arms around Isak’s shoulders, head buried in his neck. “For being stupid. I love you.” 

“We’re both stupid.” Isak smiled into Even’s shoulder. I love you too.” 

“You’re going to do so well.”

“I am?” Isak raised an eyebrow in question.

Even nodded. “With your music. That song-”

“What song-” Isak groaned, “- _ Jonas _ .”

“Please don’t be mad at him.”

Isak chuckled, “I’m not. He does owe me beer, though.” 

“Can I kiss you?” Even asked softly. 

“You don’t have to ask.” Isak replied, just as softly, leaning up to meet Even half way.

*******

[A year or so later..]

 

                        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isak's song: Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo3lxS-6joY&list=WL&index=2


End file.
